I’ve heard it said that as men conduct friendships ‘shoulder to shoulder’ women conduct friendships ‘eye to eye’.

I would like to amend that statement to ‘women conduct friendships eye to eye….over coffee and cake’.

A friend, pot of tea or coffee and some cake, has pretty much saved my sanity many times over in this crazy journey I call Motherhood.

And it’s never really been about the tea or the cake. Homemade, store bought, tea bags, tea leaves, beautiful china, mix and match mugs, tidy homes or amongst the mess, quiet children or chaos abounding….. regardless of the setting or the situation, sharing a cuppa and some cake with girlfriends over the years has been essential for me.

Friends who have done life with me since primary school, right through to the kindred spirits I’ve collected and loved along the way, each time one of them has perched themselves up at my kitchen bench for a catch up has been such a great gift to me in so many ways.

We have LAUGHED OUT LOUD at the most ridiculous things, laughter often being my therapy of choice. We have cried oceans of tears over pain, health, marriages, injustices, our kids and the amount of laundry our families produce. Advice offered, recipes swapped, prayers given, plans made, hearts encouraged.

The lifeline isn’t so much in the tea and the cake, as it is in the stopping of our busyness to offer our time and ears and hearts to listen, love and relate.

I’m not sure I could have survived the early years of parenting without this.

As the kids grow and our families and lives get a little more complicated, this ritual has become less frequent, but no less important. Instead of mid week catch ups with toddlers roaming around us, it’s becoming more important to find other ways of catching up. Sometimes it means leaving the kids at home with Dad or a babysitter so that we can grab dinner together.

As I get to the end of my life, I don’t think you are going to hear me say “I spent WAY too much time having coffee with friends.”

Rather, I hope to be still laughing and crying with those near and dear to me, and enjoying the richness and encouragement that comes from doing life together.

Lime Syrup Cake 

This cake is one of my favourite cakes. The photo’s just don’t do it justice as you can’t see how sticky and moist it is. The original recipe is from the Women’s Weekly cookbook ‘Food We Love’.

Ingredients

250gm unsalted butter, softened

1 tablespoon of finely grated lime rind

1 cup castor sugar

3 eggs, seperated

2 cups self raising flour

1 cup milk, with the juice of 1/2 lime mixed in (the acidity of the lime juice curdles the milk slightly and gives a similar result to using buttermilk)

Lime Syrup

1/3 cup lime juice

3/4 cup castor sugar

1/4 cup water

Method

Preheat oven to 160 degrees celsuis, fan forced.

Grease a 20cm fluted ring tin or bundt tin (if you don’t have one, you can use a normal round tin, but the cake will just take longer to cook, about 30 minutes more).

Beat butter, rind and sugar in a bowl of an electric mixer until light and fluffy.

Beat in egg yolks one at a time. (The mixture will look a little curdled at this stage, that’s okay).

Transfer this mixture to a large bowl and stir in some of the flour and milk, alternating between the two, until all of it is mixed in and the batter is smooth.

Beat the egg whites in the bowl of an electric mixer until soft peaks form. Fold into the cake batter in batches until it’s all combined. (Use a metal spoon to do this step and try and ‘cut’ through the batter, this will mix the egg whites in without knocking all of the air out).

Spread the mixture into the pan and bake for approximately 1 hour or until it’s cooked when tested with a skewer. Cool for 5 minutes and then turn onto a wire rack that’s been placed on top of a plate.

Meanwhile, combine all the ingredients for the syrup in a small saucepan and stir over low heat until the sugar is dissolved. Bring to the boil and boil gently for a few minutes to reduce and thicken the syrup.

Pour the hot syrup over the warm cake.

Sprinkle with finely grated lime rind to serve.

It’s perfect eaten on the day it’s made, however, this cake will last for a couple of days, covered in the fridge. Heat each piece slightly in the microwave before serving.