Sometimes the list of what we can’t do or fix for our families is much longer than what we can.
As mum’s, it knocks the very air out of our lungs when we realise that by our sheer will, determination, or the pure force of our mother’s love, we can’t actually change things.
Over the last little while, I haven’t been able to fix challenges at school, stop nighttime fears, solve friendship struggles or even stop bleeding noses. I haven’t been able to get in front of the technology battles, or solve an ongoing issue with our youngest who is due to start school next year, but is just not ready. I haven’t been able to get a child to drink 10ml fluid from a syringe, so watched a drip rehydrate him instead. I haven’t been able to stop a nasty illness ravage my boys body, or answer his ‘Why mum?’ at 2am in the morning when nothing could relieve his pain. I haven’t been able to get homework done without arguments, or succeed in forcing everyone in the house to just LOVE EACH OTHER.
I haven’t been able to get to church for weeks due to sick kids, stop the possums from ravaging my garden or the mould from growing in the shower. On some nights, I have not even managed to get a simple meal on the table. And I have a food blog that is supposed to help mum’s like me with exactly that. Seriously.
I am not on top of the tax paperwork, family birthday cards and gifts from months ago remain unsent on my study desk.
You know the season I am talking about? You have had one or been in one too.
Outside of my walls, there are marriages I can’t fix, illnesses I can’t take away from loved ones, depression I can’t lift and suffering in the world I can’t eleviate.
On the bathroom floor at 2am, beside my sick boy in the bath, I determined that today would be the day I would take this Very Long List of Things I Cannot Change or Fix and give them over to the One I profess to trust and follow with my life.
I am laying down my arrogance and pride that says it’s up to me to make everything right.
I am thanking God for his goodness and faithfulness in my life and those I love and trusting what it says in Romans 8:32 that He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
The term give us all things is not referring to a sprinkling of fairy dust that mends every broken thing, heals every sickness and gives me everything I want for a stress free, totally perfect existence.
No. If you keep reading a few verses down, you see that it goes on to say in verse 35:
Who shall separate us from the Love of Christ? Shall trouble, or hardship, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness or danger or sword….No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced, that neither death nor life, neither angels of demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
That’s the good stuff right there. Nothing can separate us from God’s love. Not A Thing. We are not alone, we are not forgotten and we are not left to try and figure it all out in our own strength. I don’t have to get it all right, earn it, work for it or achieve it.
I am resting in that promise today and hope friend, you may too.
My natural tendency when faced with a long list of challenges is to get my boxing gloves on and gear up for a fight. I want to DO STUFF, keep busy, keep moving, research, plan, make lists, make appointments because my human nature says ‘You need to make this right.’
There is a time and place for all of the doing, but I am going to do the opposite today.
Choosing to Be Still in one way means actually physically stopping, but I’m mainly referring to choosing to quieten the voice in my head that says it’s all up to me.
I’m so thankful for a Heavenly Father who did not in his wisdom, leave it all up to me to solve or fix.
Today, I will be present for those I love and meet their needs, I will ‘show up’ to do what is required of me. But I will leave the fear, stress, anxiety, unknowns and burdens at the feet of the cross of my saviour.
One of my current favourite songs, from Hillary Scott & The Scott Family is Still. It sums up all of my ramblings perfectly. I hope it encourages you, wherever you’re at and whatever season you’re in, to join me today in being Still.